FUN STUFF

Things You'll Never Hear a Band Director Say...

[To students]

"Anybody got an Eminem CD I can borrow?"
"Ten minutes late? Don't worry about it, come on in!"
"Can't make it to practice? Try to come next time, if you're not too busy."
"Drums -- could you play louder please?"
"That was perfect."
"It's too hot, let's stay inside today."
"I wish football season would last forever."
"Don't bother thinking too hard -- it might give you a headache. Let me tell you how the music goes."
"Missed key signature? Don't worry about it. We'll get it next time."
"You all are practicing too much. Leave your horns here over the weekend."
"You didn't hear what I just said? I would be glad to repeat it after your conversation with your neighbor is over."
"Leave all your drum equipment out. I would be glad to put it away for you."
"Who wants gum?"
"One more time." (And actually do it only one more time.)
"I love fundraising!"
"Drummers, I'd love to get you a fifth copy of that piece. Let's not lose another one, okay?"
"Third clarinets, you are too loud."
"Trumpets -- I wish every section was as modest as you guys."
"I have nothing to do this weekend."
"We have too much rehearsal time."

[To the principal]

"Sorry, my budget is big enough already."
"We need more teachers' meetings."
"Can the band play at soccer games, track meets, and water polo matches, too?"
"Coach Wilson and I are going to see an opera this weekend."
"Only one duty?"

[To the music store]

"Do you have an arrangement of the Partridge Family's Greatest Hits?"

The Top 20 Signs You've Been In Marching Band Too Long...

20. You actually like marching and would kill to do it all year long.
19. The drummers start making sense to you.
18. You wonder what life would be like if you weren't in band.
17. You roll step while you walk to class.
16. You practice your marching band music on a daily basis.
15. You major in music and use your high school band director as a role model.
14. Those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you have ever heard.
13. You pick instruments from the music in cartoons.
12. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
11. Drummers start making sense to you.
10. You've dated everyone in the band and now you wonder if you're ever going to have another date.
9. You think that trumpeters have a right to be egotistical. (first band trumpets)
8. You don't think that flutists have a slight attitude problem.
7. You change from your instrument to the tuba.
6. You have perfect pitch. (french horns...yeah right)
5. The band director is always right.
4. You marry that special someone in your section.
3. You have kids and force them to be in music.
2. Drummers make lots of sense to you.
1. You can relate to more than a fourth of these things.